Stats That Make You Go "Hmm"

As a heterosexual male I've long been mystified by what the draw is for men who are attracted to other men: at a purely intellectual level I understand the existence of such preferences, but try as I might I've never been able to put myself in the head of someone who would actually entertain them, as the crux of the matter is that my own instinctive response to other men's bodies is one of revulsion; I can certainly appreciate the physical perfection of Michelangelo's "David", but at most I'd want to realize that ideal in my own person, rather than seek out someone else who did - and even that desire for emulation would mostly be motivated by the desire to attract women (indeed, one reason I gave up on the whole bodybuilding routine was because I realized it was doing a lot more to stir the desires of others of my own gender rather than the womenfolk ...)

Now, there's a point to all of the above preamble beyond merely indulging in an exercise in psychological exhibitionism, which is this: as sexual preferences go I consider myself a fairly representative guy, with nothing to really set me apart from the herd in this department, so when I come across reports to the effect that as many as one in eight men in New York engages in sexual activity with other men, I can't help but scratch my head. How representative are these numbers, and could it possibly be the case that a great many of my own acquaintances entertain such proclivities without my being in the least aware of it? Something just doesn't add up here as far as I'm concerned, or else my own preferences are nowhere nearly as typical as I thought.

Then again, in light of the recent scandal with US Senator Larry Craig of "wide stance" notoriety, and my subsequent education on the etiquette of cruising public toilets, perhaps I do need to revisit my own previous notions: as a college student I always used to laugh at what I then regarded as the crude humor of individuals who scrawled items like "for a good time call xxx-xxx-xxx" on the walls of stalls in the library toilets, but only now do I realize that what I'd dismissed as childish humor might indeed have been in earnest - college library toilets are supposedly notorious for such encounters.

As an aside, let me also say here that even more mystifying to me than the possibility that so many men have homosexual urges is the allure of having sex in a public toilet, of all places. Frankly, I can't imagine a place I'd less want to hang around than one reeking of feces and swarming with dangerous germs, and I can't see how this would appeal to anyone other than desperate closet-cases and those who are plain sick in the head.

Comments

[Andrew]

"at a purely intellectual level I understand the existence of such preferences"

Yes I feel the same way about straight people!

"can't see how this would appeal to anyone other than desperate closet-cases and those who are plain sick in the head"

I think a lot (most?) of them are indeed desperate closet-cases...

[Abiola]

Doesn't it bother you, though? It bothers me that I can't really understand at a gut level something so large a number of people go in for: as the saying goes, "Homo sum, et nihil humanum a me alienum puto est." Obviously this isn't literally true - I can easily think of many aspects of the human condition I'd rather not know about - but when I read, say, Thomas Mann writing in "Death in Venice" about a "beautiful" youth, it detracts from the reading experience that I can't see how a young man could possibly be "beautiful" (truth be told, I find few things more irritating than teenagers, *especially* noisy, ill-mannered and very often extremely smelly teenage males).

For me, what is most appealing in women is precisely those qualities they* possess which we men lack - their "softness", their gentleness, their gracefulness - but in the modern, western gay world at least, the typically idealized partner - ultra-masculine, built like a tank and "straight" [sic] (i.e. fratboy) acting - is the very antithesis of all these qualities. Of course I understand why it wouldn't make much sense for someone interested in men to seek out an ersatz woman (explaining the unending laments of all the spurned "femmes" and "flamers") but what I don't get is what the thrill is in wanting more of what one very frequently already has: for example, what it is two extremely built guys would possibly see in each other?

*Admittedly, not all of them, especially not in the UK ...