Idiocy 「馬鹿馬鹿しい」

One of those things I'll never really understand are all those men who seem to think Japanese women are some sort of exotic alien lifeform to be captured using well-laid out albeit exotic techniques, rather than being individuals with varying characters who happen to speak a different language.

One question that we continue to get from MYNIPPON visitors relates to the inscrutable nature of Japanese people. For those people who have a chance to interact with Japanese frequently, it becomes clear fairly soon that communication with them is not easy.

Nice to see that no time's wasted laying into the "inscrutable" cliché ...

Of course, this problem is further compounded by the fact that language problems continue to be a major barrier.

No shit? I'd never have guessed ...

Japanese women, in most cases, are extremely polite and this is a cultural attribute. While accepting a drink from a stranger in a bar or a restaurant in other countries has at least some hidden meaning in terms of higher acceptance, in case of Japanese women, it could very well be just a polite gesture (though it will be resisted strongly since Japanese people do not accept favors even from other Japanese).

Yeah, Japanese women are so different from Western women in this regard, all of whom only accept drinks from men they're 100% intent on bedding that very night - and we all know there's nothing Westerners love more than asking and receiving favors from each other ...

What this means is that small things that men typically do to break the ice in other countries do not work so effectively with Japanese women. In fact Japanese women do not give many opportunities since they rarely go out to meet strangers though it is changing in some cases.

O rly? Coulda fooled me - maybe all the shy lotus blossom types don't go to the big cities or something (love the ending qualifier, by the way) ...

If you are a Japanese, you can try hangouts of young people and hope for some good luck.

But, but didn't you just say Japanese women don't go out to meet strangers? What would be the point in visiting "hangouts of young people" then (and why would a Japanese man need advice in English on such matters)?

Try not to ‘come on’ to a Japanese woman because that is not how her mind is conditioned. You have to almost do it without doing it, meaning that you have to show your interest but still leave the ball in the woman’s court. The easiest trick is to position yourself as a serious student of Japanese art/culture/language/music/food or anything else that she is interested in though the language card works all the time.

<Gasp> Japanese women actually like to have shared interests with their acquaintances! How completely unlike Western females, who love nothing more than to be aggressively hit upon by men with whom their worldviews completely differ ... By the way, Mr. Japan-expert, ever hear of the Japanese word "nanpa"? This approach to which Japanese women's minds are not "conditioned" is only practiced everywhere young people gather ...

And now we get to the best parts.

Since Japanese women do not typically admit that they wanted ‘IT,’ you have to help them believe it by coordinating events in a manner that it sounds like a coincidence or an inevitable event rather than planned. Some of the tricks are: missing the last train, too much alcohol, carried away by an overflow of emotions, etc.

These Japanese women are so subtle, aren't they? Don't you already miss the days when you didn't have to invite women up "for coffee" or to "see my etchings", and could just say to them "Hey, baby, let's f*ck?" Oh, yeah, that's right, there never were any such days, and women outright admitting to wanting "IT" to new partners is hardly the norm in the Unexotic Occident either ...

The areas that Japanese women believe to be most sensitive are neck, earlobes, thighs, and tongue. Pay special attention to the back as well.

The areas they "believe to be most sensitive"? Let me try a similar construction on you and tell me what you think: "The area Western men believe to be most sensitive is the penis. Pay special attention to the glans as well." Now, how much new and unexpected information has this conveyed to you?

The bottom of the page consists of links to many more inanities in the same vein, e.g. "Japanese girlfriend at American university campus", "Right approach to dating Asians", "Japanese lingerie", "Secrets of Japanese women", "How to get a Japanese girlfriend", "One night stand with a Japanese woman", etc., all promising to unlock the secrets of handling 60 million women in a few pages. It would be easy to dismiss this as the mental diarrhea of a single lunatic were there not so many men out there who clearly subscribe to such delusions - witness, e.g. the popularity of t-shirts reading 「日本人彼女募集中」 ("Currently taking applications for a Japanese girlfriend").

[Via The Marmot’s Hole.]

Comments

[JYCE]

With all due respect, much of your own writing here tends towards rooting or booing for your favorite countries as if they are football teams, rather than evincing any understanding of them as places full of individuals of varying character who happen to speak a different language.

[Abiola Lapite]

"With all due respect, much of your own writing here tends towards rooting or booing for your favorite countries as if they are football teams"

You're entitled to your own opinion, as counterfactual and evidence-free as I find it. If you see me as having "favorite" countries, your ability to comprehend written English is extremely suspect - there is a world of difference between criticizing national policies and writing daft guides like the one I criticize, and if you can't see it, perhaps you should stay away from reading newspapers.